I didn’t know
I was doing it
But I was going away
To drink, going away to drink
The beers were a religious experience for me
They allowed me to get away from the world and to feel better about myself.
I meditated a bout the world around me
It didn’t make sense to, my twenty year old self
Still confusing
Though the world reveals itself more, the older you become
I’ve read so many books. Still meditating.
Problem with most fiction is that the characters in most books are so ordinary and dull
No wonder so few people read books
The only person you have is your self said Osho
And I’ve lived this for years
drinking in a parked car alone, let images and
ideas float by my head, and walking amongst
crowds and groups of people feeling separate
and just letting them be, sitting in front of typewriter
or computer thinking and meditating always alone
doing this thing, this meditation,
not doing what most do, LIVING
