I didn’t know

I was doing it

But I was going away

To drink, going away to drink

The beers were a religious experience for me

They allowed me to get away from the world and to feel better about myself.

I meditated a bout the world around me

It didn’t make sense to, my twenty year old self

Still confusing

Though the world reveals itself more, the older you become

I’ve read so many books. Still meditating.

Problem with most fiction is that the characters in most books are so ordinary and dull

No wonder so few people read books

The only person you have is your self said Osho

And I’ve lived this for years

drinking in a parked car alone, let images and

ideas float by my head, and walking amongst

crowds and groups of people feeling separate

and just letting them be, sitting in front of typewriter

or computer thinking and meditating always alone

doing this thing, this meditation,

not doing what most do,  LIVING

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