I follow more than they follow me
I’m not bothered by it, I try to drop this ego
which is a difficult thing to do, its easy to think
that world is Maya, because of the clever
injustice of the whole thing, games and
forever seeking out purity, and authenticity
but that is rarely in sight
I would rather follow others, other people
can be so interesting, if you let them of course
more interesting than yourself,
if you could drop your fucking EGO
A man sat looking at a wall
for nine years, he was after something
can you imagine your cat, or dog, or human
looking at wall for nine years?
you would think them crazy or weird
nine years looking at a wall, in search of
something
truth, immortality
I don’t know
but he found IT
I am not the body
I am not my fingers
my lungs, toes
eyes, nor breath
there is something else which is going on
the mind growths and decays
along with the body
but something else remains
when you really focus on it
when you really focus on it
everything you have learned disappears
along with your own thoughts
and desires
there is something other than your heart
and your lungs
this thing connects you with the whole
and is equal to bugs and insects and trees
I am a mortal man, and think of those
who are no longer here in the body, the dead
they are some where
just not in front of me, cant be perceived through the senses
but this, I can feel, just as a tree
lives,
I am nowhere near as profound
as Ramana Maharshi
But the I is not me
it is our world
and your ego, is not you
at all
As I read my Facebook feed,
I read about a kid having a heroin overdose death (early twenties)
a friend of mine’s brother shot to death on the street by an officer of the law (early twenties)
more Donald Trump news
Ugggh
and life feels like a bad action movie or GTA,
straight murder and dope,
blood on all of our palms
but it goes on
for some, today is a nice day
85 degrees and a cool breeze blowing
I can not silence my mind though,
while driving around in it
thinking, and worrying about some future time
plans plans plans
escape escape escape,
coding, bank account, a side hustle
and I hope my car don’t breakdown
I should enjoy this day in the moment
with the sun shining on everything
like nothing bad ever happened to anyone
the sun hitting the trees with that cool breeze
as i think i could care less about this romantic shit
I’m not one with nature
I could probably live in space in a climate controlled environment
of course
but the sun was nice out today
even with the other drivers terrifying
me with the cars and them driving those terrible things
to live for today or tomorrow
to live for the weekend
or a holiday or vacation,
forget today, because there will be
many more tomorrows
this is how a lot of people live
“delayed gratification”
not saying it’s wrong or right
it’s just there and is taught
and I think of a fool and wise man
the stereotype of a fool being reckless and spending
and the wise man, saving while waiting for an imagined future
it don’t work, it don’t work or may work
but no one knows what tomorrow will bring
so some of us try to live as best we can
with these dice and cards of life
I am not comfortable giving it
it seems silly and stupid to me
and I don’t know why?
People are always giving it out
but most of it is terrible,
very little of their advice has
worked for me,
and is probably why I scorn their words,
and resent giving out advice
there is nobody that walk your unique path
your path is your own, and is given to you
by the universe,
and no one can walk it for you.
Never understood why they fascinate so many people?
I guess there is something lacking in the writer’s life
and he desires a super ability and a super body
which I can understand, its fantasy, we need that
reality can be dull and limiting
and we want someone to save us,
but are the human superheroes not enough?
the guys who invented electricity, computers, cars, cures for
diseases, those people are heroes to me
not the work of a cartoonist imagination
I like my movies and books a little closer
to reality.
all those meshing together
being thrown into each other
bumping into each other,
not liking or digging each other
blaming astrology, or society
or the socio economic condition
or the Internet
we bump into each other,
there is never enough space
as the roaches and rats hurdle over
each other for mere crumbs
that’s the life and the old prosaic
saying, “rat race.”
blinding moving,
stumbling, excuse
looking out for the self, or the one’s we
want to help
there also those who don’t want or can’t
be helped
We, these forces bump into each other
Can sometimes go by like a blur,
winding down the road, 1000 mph,
in this dark storm
you can’t see it or take notes along the way
a crazy time
a dull time moving by,
days, hours, minutes, a moment
the people who came and went along the way
you can’t recapture a moment
you can’t recapture a moment
only partially in your mind,
for a brief time
you can’t go home again
ever
it’s sad
but that’s okay
