The Sun Was Nice Though

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As I read my Facebook feed,

I read about a kid having a heroin overdose death (early twenties)

a friend of mine’s brother shot to death on the street by an officer of the law (early twenties)

more Donald Trump news

Ugggh

and life feels like a bad action movie or GTA,

straight murder and dope,

blood on all of our palms

but it goes on

for some, today is a nice day

85 degrees and a cool breeze blowing

I can not silence my mind though,

while driving around in it

thinking, and worrying about some future time

plans plans plans

escape escape escape,

coding, bank account, a side hustle

and I hope my car don’t breakdown

I should enjoy this day in the moment

with the sun shining on everything

like nothing bad ever happened to anyone

the sun hitting the trees with that cool breeze

as i think i could care less about this romantic shit

I’m not one with nature

I could probably live in space in a climate controlled environment

of course

but the sun was nice out today

even with the other drivers terrifying

me with the cars and them driving those terrible things

I’ll Sit here and Be

 

I’ll sit here and be stupid

let all stuffing drop out of my head

all learning, cleverness, deceit

I shall stand here naked before you and afraid

I fear fear fear

I admit this, I am rarely brave

I must admit this because I am stupid

as surely as one who stands naked before you

and don’t know that is illegal in public!!

but I read about cleverness and hear cleverness all day

and that makes me despise cleverness

and I want to be as stupid as a fly

which I am

I don’t know how to earn a living

too tired to hustle

to unbelievable to preach

to fool the world and make money

i don’t know how to network or keep up

with people.

and you will fail in every way like that

So I stand before you stupid and naked

and with fear

but wait, no one is watching me though

they are on their phone.

so I can stupid without consequence

ya see

and I kinda like that or maybe

I  don’t so much

but I’m stupid and have no memory

please forgive me

say your name, and I just might forget it

quickly.  I do not know what do with myself

I walk the path of a forgotten sun

yet stand here naked and a fool for you

Some People Can

 

Read souls, or its seems like it

blessed with great intuition about others

they are few, but they know your story

before you say anything,  or

just maybe they have met so many people

and know the various personalities in the world

yet, their eyes, their eyes purse through you

they know something, see things

others will not say or can perceive

these knowers interest me and fascinate

me

I try to be apart of their tribe

sometimes I am able to tell when

two parties I happen to know will

get a long or not

not always, but a lot of times i am

right

it’s a look in an eye, a walk, the sound

of voice that gives people away

their energy shroud the knowers

and a lot of times that energy

sucks for me,

very few give off that energy

I like, even live for.

 

Sitting on a Beer

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at the eternal bar

I arrive at  the bar alone and

leave alone.

this is the eternal bar

all those bars: dive bars, tittie bars, sports bars, dark,

bright,smoking bars and non smoking bars

between manual work, studying and home life

there’s eternal anxiety and thoughts shoot thru

my breezy head

the right amount of beer can calm the thoughts down

and prolong tomorrow. A place I don’t wanna be

I’m at the eternal bar, drinking a macho mug

and unsure of what tomorrow may bring.

Cloudy Days

 

I’m the weirdo,

I like, even love the cloudy misty days,

and I live were we get alllll the seasons

the cloudy days are best for me,

and my overcast soul

Most people get depressed this time of year

but I am at my most content, because the

cloudy days,  Let me think

my fellow humans seem less active more

humble on days like this, less energetic,

less foolish, less of them parading around

all things that I love,

keep my days overcast

and don’t bring me your sunny hours

I don’t need those

I can love the Sun at a nice distance

away from me.